If you’ve ever tried to find the formula for the perfect relationship, you’re not alone. Researchers, philosophers and lovers are constantly contemplating this. We decided to go from the opposite: we collected 10 factors that can complicate a relationship in a couple. Perhaps they can help you avoid making a mistake.
1. You are bored
Couples who engage in interesting activities together are much happier than those who are bored, according to a study by Stony Brook University (USA). “For a life together to please for a long time, it is not enough not to have problems and conflicts, – says the author of the study, psychologist Arthur Aron, – partners must make life together exciting.”
2. You never get angry
Partners who argued a lot in the first year or two of the relationship, but were still able to discuss their differences, become happier over time, as shown by a study from the University of Florida (USA). “The short-term discomfort of an honest argument is good for the long-term relationship,” said McNulty of the University of Florida.
3. You are jealous
Jealousy or ostentatious indifference to a partner’s success can worsen relationships. Celebrating and congratulating a partner on an achievement is an increase in relationship satisfaction, according to research published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
4. You have no sex at all
If the number of sexual contacts increases from once a month to once a week, your enjoyment of life and relationships, according to statistics, will increase.
5. You keep everything to yourself
Relationships will be happier if you have common interests and open, friendly communication. Even if you don’t like something, tell your partner directly about your feelings and desires – you yourself will be surprised how easily you can find a compromise and negotiate.
6. Do you have children
Many of us see children as a prerequisite for living a happy and meaningful life. However, childless men and women are more satisfied with their relationships and feel more valued by their partners, according to a study by the Open University.
Of course, one should not refuse to procreate, but after the appearance of heirs, it is better to be more attentive to your own needs and the desires of a partner.
7. You have many divorced or unhappy married friends.
You are 75% more likely to divorce if there are divorced friends among your friends, research from Brown University (USA) has. “Divorce can be spread through social media, it spreads like a rumor and pushes friends and friends of friends to break up,” said Rose McDermott, who conducted the study.
8. You both don’t get enough sleep
Lack of sleep can drive a couple to ruin. Men value relationships much more if they get enough sleep. Lack of sleep in women is also fraught with relationship problems, according to a study by the University of Arizona (USA). “Sleep affects not only our psychological and physical health,” says research leader Brant Hasler, “but also the health of our loved ones.”
Does this mean that good sleep will help solve all the other problems in the family? Anyway, it’s worth starting with this. In addition, you should not discuss difficult issues if one of the partners did not get enough sleep.
9. Your partner is more attractive than you
The attractiveness of wives is of great importance for men: their satisfaction with relationships is higher, the more attractive they consider their lady of the heart. This is the conclusion reached by psychologist Andrea Meltzer from Southern Methodist University (USA) after 4 years of observation of 450 heterosexual couples.
It is curious that the same conclusion was reached earlier by a social psychologist from the Institute of Relations at the University of California (USA) Benjamin Carney. He believes that men who consider themselves more attractive than their wives are reluctant to take care of their partner’s needs.
10. You had sex right away
Immediately sex and enter into a relationship – not the best way to build a solid couple, as shown by studies at Cornell University (USA). Those couples who first looked closely at each other and waited at least a month before making love, the relationship was more successful and stronger.